Is London really where my heart is?

Coming to you from one homesick Kiwi, with a love-hate relationship with London.

Sometimes I'll miss home...

And sometimes I won't.

It took me well over two years to allow myself to know and feel that it is OK to miss home. Living on what is literally the other side of the world didn't sink in for a while - I don't know if it ever will to be honest.

But the longer I've been in London, the bigger and stronger those pangs are and get; 

It is OK to miss my friends and family. 

It is OK to want to be back there... sometimes.

I've only been back to New Zealand once in three and a half years. That one visit was a real test of me. 

Could I move back home within a few months and enjoy life? Will I be happy? Will I still have friends? Will things just pick up from where I left off? 

Nope.

I got home wanting to come back to London straight away. But I had a long six weeks ahead of me. Things got better; I saw more friends and family, went to more places, chilled out more, enjoyed life at a slower pace. 

But London had called me well and truly. 

I'm definitely not saying life is easy at this end. There are always going to be good days and bad days, regardless of where you live. 

The challenges. job opportunities, friendships, life experiences - all make someone a better person. 

All in all though, I do still feel torn between the place where my heart is and the place where my life is.

The best little city in the world. 

It'll keep you breathing

When my sister and I were younger, we'd lie on our lounge floor, as still as we could, to see if we could feel the world spinning. We were convinced that we could and thought it was the best thing ever.

Nowadays, sometimes that world spins just too damn fast.

The craziness of the life-spinning takes over and makes you feel like there's not enough hours in the day; you can't quite get everything done and when the overwhelming backlog of really important stuff mixed in with all the mindless crap gets too big, you wish time would stand still. 

For just enough moments. 

Enough time for you to gather your thoughts, cross a few things off that mile long to-do list, decrease the mindless crap pile, get those really important things tended too, and to just breathe. 

Breathing is important, but I find it's often forgotten. Smelling those figurative and literal roses seems like such a treat and the thought of that quickly gets pushed back onto the to-do list. 

Remembering the important things in life - those special magical moments that only you might treasure, the little things that make you happy and smile and all warm and nice and human, they're one of the most important ingredients in life's magical mystery. 

An important ingredient to remember. 

It'll keep you breathing.